My Shipwreck
by Dakosaurus
Summary: Turk's late night Gilligan's Island marathons with JD cause trouble in paradise. In fact, there seems to be trouble all over the hospital!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Scrubs or its characters… or Gilligan's Island and its characters either.**

**Hey there everyone. Here's my second random Scrubs Season 8 episode. Hope you like it! Once again, I tried to make it as true to the show as I could.**

**Holy freaking crap! I was editing this a few minutes ago and a huge ugly black cockroach FELL onto my bed and LANDED RIGHT NEXT TO ME! Where did it fall from, the ceiling? *shudders* I threw my laptop offa me and jumped up so fast I almost tripped and fell on my face. I am UBER jumpy and paranoid now. I hate bugs… Um, anyway, here's the episode!**

My Shipwreck

_Between work at the hospital and family life at home, there was no time for Turk and I to hang out together. It took a while but we finally came up with a solution._

"The Professor and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan's Isle!" Turk and JD sang together. They were at Turk and Carla's apartment sitting Indian style on the floor in front

of the TV. An empty popcorn bowl sat between them.

"Oh, this is a good one," JD said. "This is the one where Gilligan thinks he's turning into a vampire." They both chuckled.

"Are you two still watching that show?" Carla asked, walking out of the bedroom. "It's 2:30 in the morning."

"Uh, it's called a marathon," JD said. _I _love_ marathons._

"Come to bed, Turk. Don't you have work in the morning?"

"Yes, baby. But this is the only time JD and I can hang out together," Turk replied.

"You can't keep doing this. You need to sleep. You both do."

"We're fine, but thanks for the concern, _mom_," JD said, turning up the volume.

Carla's eyebrows shot up and she put her hands on her hips. "Excuse me?"

"JD's got a point. You don't need to worry about us. We're _big_ boys."

"Fine! But if you fall asleep during surgery and kill somebody, don't come crying to me about it when you get fired!" She marched back into the bedroom and slammed the

door. A few seconds later Izzy started crying. Carla cursed in Spanish.

"Maybe we should call it a night," Turk said.

"Same time tomorrow night?" JD asked.

"You can count on it." Turk held up his hands and curled his outstretched fingers, shaping his hands like bear claws. JD did the same. "Bears for life!" they said together.

XxX

XxX

JD leaned against the desk at the nurse's station and yawned. _I just need to close my eyes for a few minutes… _He closed his eyes and rested his head in his arms.

Dr. Cox slammed a pile of clipboards down onto the desk. JD jumped up and held his head. "Is saving people's lives becoming too boring for you, Natalie?"

"Ow, I think you busted my eardrum!"

Dr. Cox bawled his hands into fists and brought them up to his eyes, fake crying. "Boo hoo. While you're out here sleeping," he said, pointing to where they were

standing, "there are patients out there with _real _problems waiting to be treated," he said, pointing to the patients' rooms. He threw a clipboard at JD. "Go!"

JD walked into a patient's room, examining the chart. He looked up to see a heavy set woman in her late thirties. "Hi, Miss Hale. I'm Dr. Dorian," he said, smiling. "It says

here on your chart that you're suffering from nausea, fatigue and headaches. It also says it's been almost ten years since you've had a physical."

"So," Miss Hale replied.

"Annul physical exams are important," JD said. "Especially since…" he suddenly stopped. _No, don't say that, _he thought.

"Especially since what?" she asked. She narrowed her eyes at him.

_Okay, she's onto you. Quick, make something up._

"Especially since I'm _fat_?" She asked.

"No," JD said. His eyes grew wide. "I was going to say…" _You're sinking, JD, you're sinking. _"Especially since… you have such great insurance," he said, pretending to read

the chart.

"I have crappy insurance," she said, folding her arms.

JD fumbled with his pager behind his back. It beeped a few times. "Oh, that's my pager," he said. He look down at it and feigned surprise. "It's an emergency. I have to

go." He ran out of the room and leaned up against the wall. _You did it, you're out. _He sighed, closing his eyes.

"I can still see you!" Miss Hale called.

JD's eyes popped open and he ran down the hall. He turned the corner and collided with the Janitor. "_Ow,_" JD said, cradling his arm.

"Hey, watch it!" the Janitor said. "You almost made me drop this!" The janitor was holding a large cardboard box.

"What's in it?" JD asked. He tilted his head and looked up.

_The Janitor opened the box and pulled out the world's most adorable kitten. "Her name is Dawn," he said. "She can do tricks. Dawn, do a back flip." The kitten did a back flip and JD _

_giggled with delight. "Dawn, do the Salsa." Suddenly there was Latin music and the kitten danced around the room. JD watched in awe. "Dawn, do my taxes." The kitten put on _

_tiny glasses and pulled out a tiny laptop. _

"_Aw, she's the most adorable kitten in the world!" JD said. _

"_I know." The Janitor replied, smirking._

_JD reached his hand out to pet her._

JD had a dopey grin on his face and he reached his hand out toward the box.

The Janitor slapped his hand away, bringing JD back to reality. "Don't touch."

XxX

XxX

Turk stood in front of an unconscious patient lying on the surgery table. He was holding up the patient's legs as Dr. Wen prepped for surgery. Every couple of seconds

Turk's eyes would close. He'd force them open and shake his head, shaking the patient as well.

"Dr. Turk, is there a problem?" Dr. Wen asked.

"No, Dr. Wen."

"Then hold still."

Turk nodded. He was doing good for about twenty seconds and then his eyes started to close again. His head fell forward a little. He jerked his head up, jostling the

patient.

"Dr. Turk, please!"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Wen. I swear it won't happen again."

"You're right. It won't. Todd, take over for Dr. Turk."

"What? No, I can do this."

"Move out of the way," Dr. Wen said. The Todd was waiting next to him.

"_Fine!_" he said, letting the Todd take the patient's arms. "Nobody tell Carla about this!" he said, pointing at everyone in the room threateningly, "You here me?" There was

a tap on the glass. Turk looked over to see JD waving and grinning like an idiot.

"Hi, Turk!" JD shouted through the glass, pushing the button so Turk could here him.

Turk took off his surgical mask and gloves and chucked them into the garbage. JD's grin vanished. Turk walked over to the door and JD met him on the other side. "What's

wrong Brown Bear?"

"Man, Carla was right," Turk said, shaking his head as they walked down the hall.

JD gasped. _Oh my gosh, he killed someone?_

"I couldn't keep my eyes open in there," Turk continued.

_Alright, remain calm. Turk needs you, comfort him! _"It's okay, come to papa," JD said, cradling Turks head against his chest, "We all make mistakes. This can't be the first

time you've killed someone, can it? I mean, we've been here for eight years!"

Turk jerked his head up out of JD's arms. "Dude!"

JD gasped again. "It _is_ your first kill? I've gotta admit, I'm a little surprised…"

"I didn't kill anyone, JD! I kept falling asleep while we were prepping for surgery," Turk said.

"Oh."

"Carla's right. Maybe we should listen to her and stop staying up so late."

"That's not in the Bear Code!" JD said.

"We don't have a bear code," Turk said.

"We do now," JD said, pulling out a spiral notebook with a unicorn on the front. Turk raised an eyebrow at it. "I couldn't find any with bears on them." JD added.

"Yeah right, I bet you picked that out _because_ of the unicorn." Turk said.

"I did _not_!" JD yelled. _I so __did__. _His inner voice said.

"We're gonna have to come up with another way to hang out."

"Ok, but don't tell Carla." JD said. He tilted his head.

_Turk, JD and Carla were in a department store at the mall. Turk was holding up a pair of pants._

"_I still think you should get the green ones. They look so much nicer," Carla said._

"_Woman, I will buy whatever pair of pants I want, and I like _these _ones!"_

"_Remember the last time you made a decision all by yourself? Who ended up being right?"_

"_You," he said in defeat. He put down the pair of blue jeans he was holding and grabbed the pair of green dress pants Carla picked out. JD watched in horror._

"We'll never be able to go to the mall without her again," he commented.

Turk and JD continued down the hall. Dr. Cox was standing around a corner, listening to their conversation. "This could be fun," he said, shoving his hands into his

pockets and jiggling the contents. A wide smile spread across his face.

XxX

XxX

Ted stood by the ledge on the roof of Sacred Heart. Instead of looking down, as he always did, he was looking straight ahead. "Wow, I never noticed the view before," he

said to himself. "It's kind of… nice_._"

The roof door opened and the janitor, Doug, and the Todd came out carrying a folding table and chairs.

"Alright, men," the Janitor said as they set up the table and chairs, "All Brain Trust meetings will now be held on the roof. Doug, go get the cooler. Todd, go get the water

balloons." The two men disappeared. The janitor looked over to see Ted standing by the ledge. "Aw, Ted. I thought you were done with this," he said, walking over to

him.

"Oh, hey. I didn't hear you come up. I was just enjoying the view," Ted said.

"Right, well I don't think the parking lot will look any better close up. So why don't you go sit over there, okay? I can't have you jumping off the roof today. As you know,

the Brain Trust must always have four members and there's no one to replace you. Troy's on vacation."

"Oh, I wasn't gonna-"

"Besides, you have a girlfriend now. Doesn't she, you know, make you _not_ wanna jump off a roof?"

"Gooch is out of town," Ted replied.

"Well, _that's_ no reason to kill yourself!" the Janitor said.

"I wasn't going to, I swear. I really was just enjoying the view. I think I'm… _happy_."

"Oh, well good for you, Ted." The Janitor gave him a big pat on the back. He patted him a little too hard and Ted flew over the ledge and landed on someone's car. The car

alarm went off. "Oops."

Doug and the Todd returned to the roof. Doug dragged out the small blue cooler. It didn't appear very heavy but he struggled with it anyway. The Todd carried the large

cardboard box to the end of the table and set it down.

"Got the water balloons J-dog," he said to the Janitor. "Where's T-dog?"

XxX

XxX

"Poor Ted. He finally did it," JD said. Ted was lying in a hospital bed in a full body cast.

"Yeah, I thought things were looking up for him. I mean, I _never_ thought he'd get himself a girlfriend," Turk said.

"I can hear you…" Ted said weakly.

"Ssshhh," JD said to Ted, "Don't talk."

Elliot walked into the room and her eyes bulged out of her head when she saw Ted. "I heard Ted was in this room, what happened?"

"He jumped off the roof," Turk said.

Elliot gasped. "Why? Aw, did Stephanie break up with him?"

"I didn't jump," Ted moaned.

"Ted, what did I say about talking?" JD said, putting a finger to Ted's lips.

"Well, this is sort of an accomplishment for him, isn't it?" Elliot said. "I mean, he's been trying to find the courage to jump for years."

"Elliot, no…" Turk said. He and JD both shook their heads.

"I was just trying to be helpful," she said to JD as Turk steered her out the door.

"I know," JD said. Once Elliot was out of the room he looked back at Ted. _Look at Ted. The poor guy, lying there helpless in that… warm… cozy bed. Free to sleep and _

_dream as he pleases. Sleepy… so sleepy._ He walked over to the bed and tried shoving Ted to side. "Move over, Ted. I'm coming in."

"Help…" Ted cried weakly.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Turk asked.

"I can't help it, I'm so tired. I need to lay down and I need to do it now!"

"Oh yeah? Well I saw the bed first!"

Turk and JD had a brief shoving war, both of them trying to squeeze into the bed next to Ted. All Ted could do was moan pathetically.

Dr. Cox poked his head in the room. "Oh, Mary Ann? Why aren't you taking care of the patient in bed four?"

Turk and JD jumped up and away from the bed. JD poked his head out of the doorway. Miss Hale was glaring at him from bed four. "Um…"

"She needs a physical exam and blood tests. Get a move on," Doctor Cox said, holding the chart out to JD. He grabbed JD's arm and began steering him toward Miss

Hale's room.

"Uh, Dr. Cox, I can't take that patient."

"Your right there Newbie, seeing as she's _already_ your patient."

"I can't give her a physical, or continue treating her, for that matter," JD said, looking down at the floor, trying to avoid her stare.

"And _why_ nawt?"

JD tilted his head.

"_Ok, Miss Hale, time for your physical," JD said, standing in the doorway. Miss Hale pulled out a shot gun and aimed low_.

"She hates me…"

"I'll buy that," Dr. Cox said.

"Can't you give her to someone else?" JD pleaded. They arrived at the door. Miss Hale was burning holes right through him with her eyes.

"I'm going to tell you something and I want you to listen very carefully, even though I know for _sure_ these words are going to be wasted on you, but _here_ goes. I want

you to_ grow up_ and act like the doctor you claim to be. A _male_ doctor. You got that, Ginger? Man up!" Dr. Cox said.

"It's kinda hard to act like a man when you keep calling me girl's names."

Dr. Cox growled. He grabbed JD's arm and forced him into the room. "Hey there, Miss Hale. I found your doctor. He will be giving you a physical exam shortly."

"I want a different doctor," Miss Hale stated.

"What's wrong with this one? _Besides_ the fact that he acts like a girl, smells like a girl, walks like a girl, and talks like a girl," Dr. Cox said.

"He called me fat," She said and folded her arms.

Dr. Cox turned and looked at JD.

"I didn't! I swear!" JD said. Miss Hale started to sniffle. "Oh, no. Don't cry."

"Excuse us," Dr. Cox said to Miss Hale. He grabbed JD by the arm and pulled him out of the room. JD looked back just in time to see Miss Hale flash him an evil grin. _What?_

"Didn't anyone ever teach you about a little thing called a _bedside manner?_" Dr. Cox asked.

"I didn't call her fat!"

Elliot walked by sipping a mochaccino.

"Here, Barbie. Take this patient, will ya?" Dr. Cox said, holding the chart out to her.

"Dr. Cox, I'm private practice. You can't just give me patients."

"Don't care." Dr. Cox shoved the chart into Elliot's hands and walked away. Elliot glared at his back as he left.

"Please, Elliot. Do it for me," JD pleaded. He made a puppy dog face and put his hands up like paws.

She looked down at the chart and then back at JD's face. "Fine," she sighed.

XxX

XxX

Doctor Cox walked up behind Turk, grabbed him by the back of his scrubs and pulled him out of Ted's room.

"Whoa, hey. What the-"

"Come with me Ghandi," Dr. Cox ordered.

"I don't have to go with you anywhere," Turk said. He folded his arms and puffed out his chest.

"There's something I want to say to your wife and it would be re-_heally_ de_lish_ if you'd come along," Dr. Cox said with a strange grin. "Say, Carla?" He said walking over to

the nurses station.

Turk followed, very curious now. "What's this all about?" Turk said under his breath.

"Just wait," Dr. Cox whispered, then he turned to Carla. "I was coming from my office earlier when I heard an interesting conversation between your husband and his

girlfriend."

"Oh?" Carla said, looking over at Turk. She didn't know what to think yet but there was a hint of anger in her voice. "And what were they talking about?"

Turk caught on to what Dr. Cox was doing. "No, man! I like going to the mall with JD!" he cried. Then he turned to Carla and added, "_Alone._" Dr. Cox pulled a face at Turk's

comment. It was a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"What's he talking about?" Carla asked Dr. Cox.

"You'll have to figure _that_ one out on your own. What I _do_ know is that I overheard him telling Tina that _you _were _right_ and he's going to take your advice."

Carla gasped and her face lit up. She jumped into Turk's arms. "Baby, is that true? You _never_ listen to me," she said.

Turk gave Dr. Cox a dirty look. "Look, baby. Don't read too much into it. It's no big deal."

"What are you talking about? This is a _huge_ deal. You actually listened to me! We're communicating like a normal, healthy couple," she gushed. "This opens up a whole

new door for us. We can make better decisions together, I can give you advice at work and at home… we'll decide _everything_ together!"

Dr. Cox watched in amusement as Turk's face grew more and more depressed as Carla's grew more and more elated.

"Everything?" Turk asked. His eyebrows shot up to the top of his head.

"Yeah! Now that you're listening to me, and finally realize that _I'm right_, we can finally do things like redecorate the apartment and pick Izzy's preschool." She sighed

blissfully, looking up at Turk. She didn't notice how pissed off he looked.

"_You're_ right?" he said.

"Yeah. Isn't that what you were telling JD? You've finally realized I'm right."

Dr. Cox sat down to make himself more comfortable. He leaned forward in his chair with interest, looking very amused.

"I may have admitted that you were right about what JD and I have been doing at night is wrong-"

"Huh?" Dr. Cox said. He grimaced and shook his head in disbelief.

"Not _that_! Don't you have someplace else to be?" Turk cried.

"Not even if you paid me," Dr. Cox replied.

"Turk, you were saying?" Carla said, not paying any attention to Dr. Cox.

"You were right about us staying up too late but ,baby, no one's right all the time. Especially you."

"_What?"_

"I mean, even you! I said _even_ you!"

"I heard what you said, Turk!" She shouted. There was fire in her eyes.

"Baby, I didn't mean it."

"You know what? I don't care what you think! And we're _still_ doing _everything together._ Because, whether you like it or not, I _am_ right Turk! _All the time!_" She huffed

and puffed and made a dramatic exit.

Turk chased after her. "Baby wait!"

"And I'm going shopping with you _every time_ you buy new clothes!" she added without breaking her stride. "You dress like a child!"

Turk stopped dead in his tracks. _"NO!"_ He dropped to his knees and stared blankly down at the floor.

"You handled that _real_ well, there, Cue ball." Dr. Cox said, walking up behind Turk.

Turk got back up on his feet. "Why, Dr. Cox? What did I ever do to you?"

"You married Carla. Plus, I don't like you. I'm pretty sure we've had this conversation before."

XxX

XxX

"Poor Ted." Doug said. Doug, the Todd and the Janitor were standing outside Ted's hospital room, looking through the glass. "And you say a tornado knocked him off the

roof?"

The janitor nodded. "It was the darnedest thing. It swooped out of nowhere, picked up poor little Teddy and then dropped him."

"Wow," the Todd whispered. Doug shook his head in amazement. The janitor shook his head in amusement at how gullible his two friends were.

XxX

XxX

Turk and JD were sitting at their usual table in the cafeteria. "And then what happened?" JD asked. He was wearing his "I'm listening very carefully to everything you

say" face.

"Then I said, Nobody's right all the time. _Especially_ you."

"Oh." JD nodded. "That word got me into trouble today, too. Was she mad?" JD asked, genuinely concerned.

"_So_ mad. She threatened to go shopping with me every time I buy new clothes."

JD gasped. "No! Not our mall time! Wait, how did Dr. Cox know about what we said?" He tilted his head.

_Dr. Cox was dressed in all black and he was crawling through the air ducts in the ceiling. He held up his walkie-talkie. "I'm in position," he said, looking down at Turk _

_and JD through a vent._

"_Drop the bug," a voice said on the other end of the walkie-talkie. It sounded oddly like Jordan._

_Dr. Cox dropped a tiny black listening device into JD's hair. "The bird has landed." _

"He was eavesdropping," Turk said.

"I knew it!" JD exclaimed. He casually ran his fingers through his hair, feeling around for foreign objects.

"Carla's probably gonna make me sleep on the couch tonight."

"Well, since you'll already be out there we might as well finish our Gilligan's Island marathon," JD said, smiling and waiting for approval. He held up his hands in the

bear claw position. "What do you say, Chocolate Bear?"

"Alright, let's do it," Turk said. He held up his bear claws too. "Bears for life!" they said together.

"You know what?" JD said, pulling out his unicorn notebook, "I'm adding something to the bear code. No more using the word _especially_ when talking to and/or referring to

women."

Elliot walked up to Turk and JD's table. "Here," she said to JD. She was holding out a patient's file to him. "I got Miss Hale's results back."

"That was fast," JD said wide-eyed.

"I have my ways," she said. JD tilted his head, "JD, whatever you're thinking about, stop. I don't have time for one of your fantasies. My shift is over," she said smiling. "I'm

going home." She handed JD the file, then she turned to Turk. "By the way, Carla's not speaking to you. She says you're sleeping on the couch tonight."

XxX

XxX

JD walked up to Miss Hale's room and stopped in front of the door. He took a deep breath. _Okay, you can do this. Just don't use the word _especially _and you'll be fine. _He

cleared his throat and walked through the door.

"What are _you_ doing here? What happened to that blonde chick?" Miss Hale said.

"I have your test results. Do you want them or not?" Miss Hale stared at him for a minute and then nodded. "Okay then," JD said. He opened the file and looked at the

results for the physical. "Well, according to the physical exam you're in pretty good shape."

"Even for someone who's _fat?_" she asked.

JD sighed. _Just ignore her, JD. Just ignore her…_

"Wait, if I'm in such good shape then why do I feel so crappy all the time?" she yelled.

"Let me check your blood test results," he said. He scanned over the papers and then said, "I'm sorry to tell you this but you have Celiac disease."

"What's that?" Miss Hale looked a little scared.

"Celiac disease is a condition that damages the lining of the small intestine and prevents it from absorbing parts of food that are important for staying healthy. The

damage is due to a reaction to eating gluten, which is found in-"

"Today would be nice!"

"You're body can't process certain grains anymore. You need to stop eating wheat, barley, oats…. stuff like that."

"Oh," she said. She looked a little less scared now.

"I'm going to give you a list of food you should avoid. You need to live by a strict diet from now on. No more eating things with flour in them like breads, cakes, donuts…

You know, this could be a very good thing for you."

"Meaning _what_ exactly?" She glared at him and folded her arms.

JD fumbled with his beeper...

XxX

XxX

_It's important to be careful about what you say to people. Especially when it's someone you love. But in the end, if that someone loves you back, things will have a way of working _

_out._

Turk, JD and Carla sat in front of the TV:

"Gilligan, I saw one of those once in Mexico. A vampire bat!" the Skipper said.

"Yeah, and it bit me on the neck! A vampire bat!" said Gilligan.

"Bit you on the neck!" cried the Skipper.

"Vampire bat?" Gilligan said. "I'm gonna turn into a vampire."

Turk, JD and Carla all chuckled.

"Having fun?" Turk asked.

"Yeah," Carla said. "This show is pretty funny."

"What did I tell you?" JD said. "Isn't Gilligan's Island great?" He smiled a huge goofy smile and sighed. _I love marathons._

END

**Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Once again, if any of you have an idea for an episode and you don't want to write it yourself, let me know. I might write it. Reviews are also appreciated.**


End file.
